哇。。。我最近有头疼。。。上个星期我的想法变成非常奇怪。不管什么语言，这是很难解释。我的脑子里有设置很多"路障"。。。我觉得，大家跟我一样。但是，由于某种原因，看来我的路障比较复杂。。。那，这上几天，在我的脑子里发生了很多事。有的这些"路障"我破坏了，有的我新设置了。我不知道怎么解释，但是我觉得我的想法很快改变。
我意识到了另外另外一个事：我想写在博客上的时候连一个事也我想不到。。。另一方面，如果我跟有的人讲一会儿，我不能停止产生看法！可能是那个跟我讲的他们不想一天听我胡言乱语。。。可能是看我的博客的你们不想每次看我再说："那，我是有点不舒服，哇，我的中文还是差的！为什么我的水平还没有提高了？！" 结果我会在这里开始胡言乱语。
So something else occurred to me - whenever I'm sitting here wanting to write a blog I can't think of a thing, but on the other hand, if I talk to somebody for a little while, I can't STOP coming up with opinions! Now, it's possible that these people I talk to don't want to hear me talking shit all day ... it's also possible that you guys who actually read this don't want to come here and every time be faced with "Oh I'm not feeling that great, gee my Chinese still isn't very good! Why aren't I better at Chinese yet?!" So I will now start talking shit right here.
今天我在图书馆工作。今年，我没有作业，没有课。另外每年，我觉得我有某种目的 - 准备有的旅行，选择我想去哪个大学，等等 。。。另外每年我没有担心钱的事。从我小时候一直说，"常规生命不够。我想去旅行，帮助人，有大冒险！"。。。去年我工作努力，做出牺牲，仔细地打算我的旅行。最后，我没有失败了。其实我做出还有一个牺牲-我回国了。我不后悔回家，我很高兴有机会在Josh的第二十一岁的生日聚会唱歌，跟我的朋友玩。。。但是我还是觉得无聊。最近好像我多数时间在图书馆工作。我变成有点严厉的人。有的星期我甚至不出去玩。只是工作，工作，工作。。。然后我回家，上网，看电视，睡觉。。。如果我喜欢我的工作，如果我觉得通过在图书馆工作我帮助人，那我都不介意。但是，如果图书馆没有我和我的同事，没关系。顾客只需要学怎么看懂指示牌。现在他们有我们和指示牌 - 他们平常选择我们的原因是因为他们太懒惰。我不想用一生帮助懒惰的人！！！
Today I worked at the library. This year, I haven't had any homework, or class. Every other year I've felt like I had some sort of purpose - preparing for some trip, choosing a university, etc etc. Every other year I never worried about money. Since I was little I always said, "A normal life is not good enough. I wanna travel, help people, and go on big adventures!" ... Last year I worked really hard, made sacrifices, and planned my trip meticulously. In the end I didn't fail, not really. I just made one last sacrifice - I came home. I don't regret that decision, I'm so happy that I could sing at Josh's 21st and hang out with my friends ... but I still feel so bored. Lately it seems like I've spent most of my time working at the library. I'm becoming a lot tighter. Some weeks I don't even go out at all, it's just work work work. Then I come home, go online, watch TV, go to sleep. If I liked my job, if I felt that through working at the library I was helping people, I wouldn't mind at all. But, if me and my coworkers weren't at the library, it wouldn't matter. The customers would just need to learn to read signs. At the moment they have both us and the signs - most of the people who choose us are just too lazy to read a sign. I don't wanna spend my life helping lazy people!!!
没关系没关系。。。我很快去马来西亚。然后，我会开始准备我下一个大冒险-明年我打算从我在Cranbourne的家到Gold Coast坐自行车！我不说谎，这个事一定会发生！下一个帖子上我说关于我新的计划。
Ah well who cares ... I'm going to Malaysia soon. And then, I will start getting ready for my next big adventure - Next year I'm going to ride a bike from my house in Cranbourne to the Gold Coast! I'm not lying, this will definitely happen! I'll talk about my new plan in the next entry ;)
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
哈萨姆的决定 - The Call of Hasaam
It recently occured to me that I only know of one Chinese person who reads this - okay, 2 if you count Amanda but as far as my brain knows she's white - and apparently there are a handful of people who do check this blog from time to time. I doubt they cared too much but I'm sure being greeted by more and more gibberish heiroglyphs every time you did happen to check would have lost its appeal over the last couple months, so I will now endeavour to keep this as a bilingual blog - at least for the moment. (The problem with blogging in English is I am tempted to allow my native babble to dominate my vaguely timid and stuttery Mandarin persona and defeat the purpose of practising - this paragraph illustrates the point. The advantage is I am then faced with the challenge of TRANSLATING this paragraph, and, having said that, I slap my forehead with a resounding, suspiciously moist-sounding thud ... I'm not helping myself AT ALL at this point ...)
为什么我这么说？！哇啊，我的英文说法是奇怪得连以英文为母语的人也不总是看懂了！！！我怎么翻译？OK OK 我试一下。。。但是你不要预料我逐字地翻译，如果我的英文的意思和中文的都是差不多一样，那就行，对吗？好了，我最近意识到了，除了一个人之外，读这个博客的你们都不会中文呢？我不算Amanda是中国人，我其实觉得他是个白人。其实我以前没想象人读我没有意思的博客。。。可能是你们不在乎我用不用中文，但是我是个非常体贴的人！我知道你们跟你看不懂的汉字越来越没趣吧！所以，从现在起我在这个博客上力求用两个语言。。。问题是，我用英文的时候用复杂的句子，俚语，等等，是我的母语，当然都是太容易的。但我的中文还不是那么好，所以我不能翻译所有的那种内容。那个上面的段落证明我说得对呢？哈哈。。。我猜这个也是件好事-为了提高我的中文水平，我肯定需要向自己挑战。。。这个真的不是逐字地翻译呵呵。。。但是我翻译了所有的主点，对不对？那个最后的英文句子是太笨的！为什么我写下了那个笨的句子？？！没关系，我放弃！
为什么我这么说？！哇啊，我的英文说法是奇怪得连以英文为母语的人也不总是看懂了！！！我怎么翻译？OK OK 我试一下。。。但是你不要预料我逐字地翻译，如果我的英文的意思和中文的都是差不多一样，那就行，对吗？好了，我最近意识到了，除了一个人之外，读这个博客的你们都不会中文呢？我不算Amanda是中国人，我其实觉得他是个白人。其实我以前没想象人读我没有意思的博客。。。可能是你们不在乎我用不用中文，但是我是个非常体贴的人！我知道你们跟你看不懂的汉字越来越没趣吧！所以，从现在起我在这个博客上力求用两个语言。。。问题是，我用英文的时候用复杂的句子，俚语，等等，是我的母语，当然都是太容易的。但我的中文还不是那么好，所以我不能翻译所有的那种内容。那个上面的段落证明我说得对呢？哈哈。。。我猜这个也是件好事-为了提高我的中文水平，我肯定需要向自己挑战。。。这个真的不是逐字地翻译呵呵。。。但是我翻译了所有的主点，对不对？那个最后的英文句子是太笨的！为什么我写下了那个笨的句子？？！没关系，我放弃！
Sunday, September 20, 2009
哈萨姆的周末
上个周五晚上我开车去了Neo的家,呆在那里两天。前天早上我们两个联系那首周杰伦的歌-稻香。Neo弹了吉他，我吹了笛子,唱了唱。我们为Josh的第二十一岁的生日聚会打算让他惊喜。其实，我跟三四个人打算了给Josh几个惊喜。
一是，他的最好朋友不能来。我告诉他应该提前拍摄自己的演说，所以聚会的时候大家还能看。
二是，密密地接触了很多他的朋友，告诉他们Josh的女朋友需要钱买特贝贵的礼物。
最后，我和Neo学了"稻香"。
在澳洲的文化里，二十一岁的生日是非常特别的。虽然十八岁的生日之后可以开车，喝酒，等等，但是我们认为只有二十一岁了才算成年人。所以二十一岁的生日聚会平常会是比较大的。一二个好朋友需要演说。其实Josh要求我演说。我不知道我该说什么，但是我没有怕。我只想，我和Neo的表演应该让他们都笑。我想对了，哈哈！
哦。。。我们表演之后，我喝醉了。。。喝得太多。。。我其实不能动。我觉得有一点不好意思，但是我很少喝醉。第二天，我身体还好。非常高兴我喝酒的时候又喝太多水！
一是，他的最好朋友不能来。我告诉他应该提前拍摄自己的演说，所以聚会的时候大家还能看。
二是，密密地接触了很多他的朋友，告诉他们Josh的女朋友需要钱买特贝贵的礼物。
最后，我和Neo学了"稻香"。
在澳洲的文化里，二十一岁的生日是非常特别的。虽然十八岁的生日之后可以开车，喝酒，等等，但是我们认为只有二十一岁了才算成年人。所以二十一岁的生日聚会平常会是比较大的。一二个好朋友需要演说。其实Josh要求我演说。我不知道我该说什么，但是我没有怕。我只想，我和Neo的表演应该让他们都笑。我想对了，哈哈！
哦。。。我们表演之后，我喝醉了。。。喝得太多。。。我其实不能动。我觉得有一点不好意思，但是我很少喝醉。第二天，我身体还好。非常高兴我喝酒的时候又喝太多水！
Monday, August 24, 2009
还要哈萨姆
我想再用中文写一下！
最近我工作比较多。。。所以我当然省了比较多的钱！但是我还没有太多的钱，我最好继续工作。。。哇~，我还买不起新车。虽然我不想买新车，我现在有的车好像几个月内报废。如果我能坐自行车去工作，坐火车跟朋友玩，等等，就一定没问题。但是，有人意外地不能来工作的时候，我需要很快去那里。而我的大多数朋友的家从火车站太远了！我不喜欢依靠朋友给我搭个车。。。没关系，我现在有车，现在有钱。十一月我去马来西亚，已经买了机票！我希望这辆车该报废之前我省很多钱。然后我能开始再旅行。下次我去旅行，我想工作一下。旅行的人常常教英文，或者在酒吧工作。有的人在青年招待所工作。
我想知道: 为了取得经验，该不该在澳大利亚找这种工作？我不知道这是否重要的。可能会有趣！
最近我发现了世界上有两种人。第一种人想了解别人，提高自己。他们觉得通过知识找到幸福。我是这样的人。我们都是互相依存的。当然我们应该互相帮助。
第二种人只想有东西，不求上进。很多这样的人非常聪明，取得成功。我不知道是否他们的东西真的让他们觉得幸福，但是我讨厌这种想法。如果你以为需要有东西让你觉得幸福，你就一直想拥有东西。如果你不能拥有想拥有的东西，你怎么办？
然后生活变成比赛而有人肯定会输。我知道大家有幸福是可能的，所以我受不了这个比赛。我们都已经有脑子。为了找到幸福，你只要脑子。当然我也想拥有东西。我希望有一天只想知识。
我的愿望就是我们都尝试互相了解，尝试互相帮助。我愿望大家关心大家的幸福。这是最嘁哩喀喳的办法！
你觉得我的愿望是不可能实现的？我知道。这是因为太多人太怕输。这是真的"irony"。
最近我工作比较多。。。所以我当然省了比较多的钱！但是我还没有太多的钱，我最好继续工作。。。哇~，我还买不起新车。虽然我不想买新车，我现在有的车好像几个月内报废。如果我能坐自行车去工作，坐火车跟朋友玩，等等，就一定没问题。但是，有人意外地不能来工作的时候，我需要很快去那里。而我的大多数朋友的家从火车站太远了！我不喜欢依靠朋友给我搭个车。。。没关系，我现在有车，现在有钱。十一月我去马来西亚，已经买了机票！我希望这辆车该报废之前我省很多钱。然后我能开始再旅行。下次我去旅行，我想工作一下。旅行的人常常教英文，或者在酒吧工作。有的人在青年招待所工作。
我想知道: 为了取得经验，该不该在澳大利亚找这种工作？我不知道这是否重要的。可能会有趣！
最近我发现了世界上有两种人。第一种人想了解别人，提高自己。他们觉得通过知识找到幸福。我是这样的人。我们都是互相依存的。当然我们应该互相帮助。
第二种人只想有东西，不求上进。很多这样的人非常聪明，取得成功。我不知道是否他们的东西真的让他们觉得幸福，但是我讨厌这种想法。如果你以为需要有东西让你觉得幸福，你就一直想拥有东西。如果你不能拥有想拥有的东西，你怎么办？
然后生活变成比赛而有人肯定会输。我知道大家有幸福是可能的，所以我受不了这个比赛。我们都已经有脑子。为了找到幸福，你只要脑子。当然我也想拥有东西。我希望有一天只想知识。
我的愿望就是我们都尝试互相了解，尝试互相帮助。我愿望大家关心大家的幸福。这是最嘁哩喀喳的办法！
你觉得我的愿望是不可能实现的？我知道。这是因为太多人太怕输。这是真的"irony"。
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Hasaam Cops A Fizzle
Have I mentioned that people fascinate me?
Today in the tea room at work there were 3 of us at the table. Somebody happened to notice a pile of Christian pamphletts when I sat down in front of them. On the front it didn't say much more than "Jesus something something" and it had a picture of a dove on it. We assumed a patron must have given them to another staff member, who probably brought them around back. This outraged to both of them. One of them said it was "absolutely disgusting" and the other said she would like to throw it out. "That is so offensive," was another line thrown out there. I told them not to throw them in the bin. I think the most important thing in a situation like this is the intention of the religious person - in other words, it's the thought that counts. Somebody who believes that God loves us and Jesus saves us wanted to pass on something they felt was very special, it's as simple as that. From their point of view, they were offering us the best gift of all, and they didn't even know us. Isn't that sweet? Also I just generally disagree with disrespecting any object that has value placed on it by other people, whether that's spiritual or financial, whatever.
I didn't really get a chance to say anything even remotely like any of that, though, and it probably wouldn't have gone down well. I just asked "what's wrong with it just sitting there?" and The Lady Who Picks On Me primly announced, "Religion is a matter of personal choice and we shouldn't have to put up with it being INFLICTED on us." She practically spat when she got to that word, "inflicted". I thought, holy crap it was just sitting there, you guys wouldn't have even noticed if I'd sat somewhere else! Inflicted? I mean, you could just not look at it, somebody else might appreciate the gesture, it's not like somebody was following them around demanding they convert ... =S
Why would this upset them so much?
What fascinated me further was the fact that I knew there was no way I could ask my question without my head getting bitten off. Because at some point I mentioned that I'd gone through 12 years of Catholic schooling the first lady assumed I was Catholic (which I find amusing because once a priest recommended an exorcism for me when he found out I was going to a Buddhist Temple). So she would have assumed I was being blindly defensive. The Lady Who Picks On Me had made her Big Bold Statement with such dramatic and aggressive flair that I didn't think I would get any sense out of her even if she didn't choose to get offended.
If I had asked them to justify their attitude and behaviour, I'm sure they would have become quite defensive themselves. But they really didn't make any sense to me. I genuinely just wanted to understand, but I'm sure they would have just assumed I was judging them and/or trying to change them - that's how most people seem to react. Why do people need to be so attached to their senses of self that it hinders our ability to have objective, constructive conversations? I get so confused trying not to upset people over trivial things - that's why I sometimes maybe come across as a bit of a pushover. It is near-impossible for me to predict when somebody's going to be upset over something that makes no sense to me whatsoever, and I still can't work out what's a reasonable problem at least by convention. I can't prioritise this sort of thing, it ALL seems frivolous to me.
I asked my parents about the whole thing over dinner, they thought it was fair enough (my Dad being the reason I got baptised Catholic) because people shouldn't have to be pressured or something. But, again, I totally fail to see a source of pressure in this scenario. My brother walked in at this point and goes "ohhh yeah cos THIS GUY never gets upset about ANYTHING" - I'll admit I found this frustrating because once again, it was an example of people's defensiveness totally getting in the way of my understanding. Why did he have to assume I was judging them? Why does everybody do that? I spot a failing in my ability to interact properly with another person and have figured out that the reason is because of a particullar difference between my way of thinking and theirs. Then I seek to understand it. That's just logical! I am aware that this seems like a defensive reaction in of itself, and while I love irony like that usually, it's actually a different, even better kind of irony - the fact that people keep making that assumption is yet another failure of mine to interact properly, so I will probably obsess over that too until I find a way to avoid the problem.
Anyway, my parents quickly grew weary of the topic on the grounds that I didn't need to care about every little thing, but I insisted that I had no emotional investment in this, I was just really REALLY interested because I could not understand it. They told me I didn't need to understand everything. I found that statement amusing because I didn't really understand IT, either. Then I said we didn't have to talk about it anymore, seeing as how they were clearly getting frustrated and that was just one more thing I didn't quite get xD
And that's my story. Oh by the way, does anybody want a pamphlett filled with stories about how Jesus saved various people in modern times? I've happened across a bunch somehow ...
Today in the tea room at work there were 3 of us at the table. Somebody happened to notice a pile of Christian pamphletts when I sat down in front of them. On the front it didn't say much more than "Jesus something something" and it had a picture of a dove on it. We assumed a patron must have given them to another staff member, who probably brought them around back. This outraged to both of them. One of them said it was "absolutely disgusting" and the other said she would like to throw it out. "That is so offensive," was another line thrown out there. I told them not to throw them in the bin. I think the most important thing in a situation like this is the intention of the religious person - in other words, it's the thought that counts. Somebody who believes that God loves us and Jesus saves us wanted to pass on something they felt was very special, it's as simple as that. From their point of view, they were offering us the best gift of all, and they didn't even know us. Isn't that sweet? Also I just generally disagree with disrespecting any object that has value placed on it by other people, whether that's spiritual or financial, whatever.
I didn't really get a chance to say anything even remotely like any of that, though, and it probably wouldn't have gone down well. I just asked "what's wrong with it just sitting there?" and The Lady Who Picks On Me primly announced, "Religion is a matter of personal choice and we shouldn't have to put up with it being INFLICTED on us." She practically spat when she got to that word, "inflicted". I thought, holy crap it was just sitting there, you guys wouldn't have even noticed if I'd sat somewhere else! Inflicted? I mean, you could just not look at it, somebody else might appreciate the gesture, it's not like somebody was following them around demanding they convert ... =S
Why would this upset them so much?
What fascinated me further was the fact that I knew there was no way I could ask my question without my head getting bitten off. Because at some point I mentioned that I'd gone through 12 years of Catholic schooling the first lady assumed I was Catholic (which I find amusing because once a priest recommended an exorcism for me when he found out I was going to a Buddhist Temple). So she would have assumed I was being blindly defensive. The Lady Who Picks On Me had made her Big Bold Statement with such dramatic and aggressive flair that I didn't think I would get any sense out of her even if she didn't choose to get offended.
If I had asked them to justify their attitude and behaviour, I'm sure they would have become quite defensive themselves. But they really didn't make any sense to me. I genuinely just wanted to understand, but I'm sure they would have just assumed I was judging them and/or trying to change them - that's how most people seem to react. Why do people need to be so attached to their senses of self that it hinders our ability to have objective, constructive conversations? I get so confused trying not to upset people over trivial things - that's why I sometimes maybe come across as a bit of a pushover. It is near-impossible for me to predict when somebody's going to be upset over something that makes no sense to me whatsoever, and I still can't work out what's a reasonable problem at least by convention. I can't prioritise this sort of thing, it ALL seems frivolous to me.
I asked my parents about the whole thing over dinner, they thought it was fair enough (my Dad being the reason I got baptised Catholic) because people shouldn't have to be pressured or something. But, again, I totally fail to see a source of pressure in this scenario. My brother walked in at this point and goes "ohhh yeah cos THIS GUY never gets upset about ANYTHING" - I'll admit I found this frustrating because once again, it was an example of people's defensiveness totally getting in the way of my understanding. Why did he have to assume I was judging them? Why does everybody do that? I spot a failing in my ability to interact properly with another person and have figured out that the reason is because of a particullar difference between my way of thinking and theirs. Then I seek to understand it. That's just logical! I am aware that this seems like a defensive reaction in of itself, and while I love irony like that usually, it's actually a different, even better kind of irony - the fact that people keep making that assumption is yet another failure of mine to interact properly, so I will probably obsess over that too until I find a way to avoid the problem.
Anyway, my parents quickly grew weary of the topic on the grounds that I didn't need to care about every little thing, but I insisted that I had no emotional investment in this, I was just really REALLY interested because I could not understand it. They told me I didn't need to understand everything. I found that statement amusing because I didn't really understand IT, either. Then I said we didn't have to talk about it anymore, seeing as how they were clearly getting frustrated and that was just one more thing I didn't quite get xD
And that's my story. Oh by the way, does anybody want a pamphlett filled with stories about how Jesus saved various people in modern times? I've happened across a bunch somehow ...
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
激动的哈萨姆
今天早上，我看了一份在Monash大学图书馆的工作。当然，我立刻申请了。我真的真的真的希望我得到这份工作。
因为我在Casey-Cardinia的图书馆工作大概五年，我觉得自己经验丰富，受过的训练使我能胜任这份工作。（其实这个是我在申请上填写的，我也相信是真的。）我认为我跟这份工作一定没有问题。
首先，在Monash大学图书馆那个薪水比较高，位置很好。因为我有很多在Monash的朋友，所以如果我在那里工作的话，就有很多机会遇到几个好朋友。当然，最重要的是这份工作是份全日工作。我厌倦每天等等工作打电话，讨厌浪费时间。
是理想的！
昨天晚上我约了Lily出来，他在墨尔本三四个天，我非常高兴她告诉我。我们两个爱讲故事，有奇怪朋友，问不寻常的问题。Oh, also他也爱素菜，特别喜欢豆沙 ^^ 所以，我们在日本第一次结识的时候很快交朋友。但她是阿德莱德人，所以没预料再见面她。
我们散散步大概一个半小时，终于到了唐人街。然后我们找到了一个饺子饭店。我们吃的不太好吃，但是我不介意因为也非常便宜，而且跟Lily谈谈很好玩儿。
那，现在是早上三点差一刻，我最好去睡觉吧！
因为我在Casey-Cardinia的图书馆工作大概五年，我觉得自己经验丰富，受过的训练使我能胜任这份工作。（其实这个是我在申请上填写的，我也相信是真的。）我认为我跟这份工作一定没有问题。
首先，在Monash大学图书馆那个薪水比较高，位置很好。因为我有很多在Monash的朋友，所以如果我在那里工作的话，就有很多机会遇到几个好朋友。当然，最重要的是这份工作是份全日工作。我厌倦每天等等工作打电话，讨厌浪费时间。
是理想的！
昨天晚上我约了Lily出来，他在墨尔本三四个天，我非常高兴她告诉我。我们两个爱讲故事，有奇怪朋友，问不寻常的问题。Oh, also他也爱素菜，特别喜欢豆沙 ^^ 所以，我们在日本第一次结识的时候很快交朋友。但她是阿德莱德人，所以没预料再见面她。
我们散散步大概一个半小时，终于到了唐人街。然后我们找到了一个饺子饭店。我们吃的不太好吃，但是我不介意因为也非常便宜，而且跟Lily谈谈很好玩儿。
那，现在是早上三点差一刻，我最好去睡觉吧！
Sunday, July 19, 2009
哈萨姆
我觉得我的中文还不好了。2007年我开始学，但是我相信我的水平似乎我学了一年以下。。。说不定我只是不够耐心。不管怎样，为了提高我的中文水平，重要的是不停的练习，对吧？所以我决定用中文写有的entries。有的时候我上网试试读中国人的博客。不幸，如果我不认识一个博客的作家的话，我就对那个博客没有兴趣。而且，我注意力很容易分散，最近我不知道应该做什么。
我看我的朋友。他们大多数都是天才。有的是艺术天才，有的是音乐天才，语言的天才，等等。有的人非常可爱，还是聪明，健康的。因为他们知道想做什么，不会想太多，没有我优柔。
这个entry不是关于自怜，只是我知道的。我不是天才，也不是蠢材。我当学生的时候，我不得不学习，写文章，动我的脑子想想！看来我不上课，我没有动机。为什么？我是不是因为害怕了？可能是的，我害怕很多东西。但是我不害怕失败。所以我不相信害怕让我浪费时间。现在，我既没有特别的目标，又我的生活不太固定。每天，如果我不上班，我想，"hmm,今天我做什么？"，然后平常决定上网几分钟，看我的email，等等。几分钟变成几个小时，我觉得太不好意思。因为我每天不知道是否图书馆会给我打电话求我工作，早上十点半前我只等等。最近如果我不上班，就下雨,我的车不开，我弟弟看电视（还是睡觉）。。。所以我上网。其实，我有至少一个目标：找更好的工作！哈哈。
Hmm这个entry有点乏味的。Oh well,下次我不会谈谈我sooky的事
=D
我看我的朋友。他们大多数都是天才。有的是艺术天才，有的是音乐天才，语言的天才，等等。有的人非常可爱，还是聪明，健康的。因为他们知道想做什么，不会想太多，没有我优柔。
这个entry不是关于自怜，只是我知道的。我不是天才，也不是蠢材。我当学生的时候，我不得不学习，写文章，动我的脑子想想！看来我不上课，我没有动机。为什么？我是不是因为害怕了？可能是的，我害怕很多东西。但是我不害怕失败。所以我不相信害怕让我浪费时间。现在，我既没有特别的目标，又我的生活不太固定。每天，如果我不上班，我想，"hmm,今天我做什么？"，然后平常决定上网几分钟，看我的email，等等。几分钟变成几个小时，我觉得太不好意思。因为我每天不知道是否图书馆会给我打电话求我工作，早上十点半前我只等等。最近如果我不上班，就下雨,我的车不开，我弟弟看电视（还是睡觉）。。。所以我上网。其实，我有至少一个目标：找更好的工作！哈哈。
Hmm这个entry有点乏味的。Oh well,下次我不会谈谈我sooky的事
=D
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