厌恶女人德哈萨姆V女权主义的哈萨姆 - Chauvinistic Hasaam

前些天我在工作 - 你惊讶了吗？那，那天我们不太忙，一位上级的女人告诉我，“如果女人统治世界的话，天地就没有战争。”
我并不能相信我听的。我对她发笑了。她好像不介意-还沾沾自喜地笑。
我说，“请你等一下，你是认真的吗？你的主要点是不是，女人从未打架？没有男人，世界上都有和平？”
她耐心地回答这是肯定她的主要点。所以，我没办法，不得不纠正她的错误。

I was at work the other day - huge shock, I know. Anyway, we weren't too busy that day and one of my female superiors commented, "You know, if women ruled the world, there would be no wars."
I couldn't believe my ears, not even a tiny bit. I burst out laughing at her, but she didn't seem to mind - she just kept standing there, smiling all smug-like.
I said, "Hang on a sec, you're serious? So your main argument is, women never ever fight? Without men, the world would be a peaceful place?"
She replied that yes, yes indeed that was her point. And so I had to tell her why she was wrong.


“一位男人对另外一位男人生气的时候，没有秘密，大家很快知道！要么他们马上战斗，要么不会再一次聊天。可能是女人不喜欢对抗，但是你们一定打架的次数至少是我们男人的一样！

"If a guy's pissed off at another guy, there are no secrets, everybody soon finds out! Either they beat eachother up immediately, or they don't talk anymore. Maybe women don't like confrontation, but you definitely fight at least as much as men do!

每周我们国家与有另一个国家交战。上周我们恨俄罗斯，这周俄罗斯我们的最好朋友！下周我们再恨他们，而澳大利亚的政府告诉我们，‘在俄罗斯，她们现在散布谣言，她们说我们杀婴儿！她们说谎使我们的同盟国对我们翻脸！我们不会容忍她们的罪行！！！’然后我们在交战状态中。

Every week we'd be at war with another country. Last week, we hated Russia, this week they're our best friends! Next week we'll hate them again, and the Australian Government will tell us, "In Russia, they're spreading shit about us! They say we kill babies! They've turned all our allies against us with their lies, we're not gonna put up with their crimes!!!" And then we'd be at war.

外交也会是灾难性的。澳大利亚轰炸一下俄罗斯，俄罗斯轰炸了我们，终于这两个国家商定谈判：
“黑。。。澳大利亚，我们还是朋友吗？”
“妳说什么？？？俄罗斯，淡然我们还是朋友！！！”
“真的吗？只是，啊，那，有国家说妳们对我们不高兴了。。。”
“得了吧，我们怎么对妳们生气吗？哈哈，别傻了！”
“好了。但是，为什么妳们轰炸了我们？”
“啊？！谁说我们轰炸了妳们？我们没有，我们从未且不会轰炸妳们拉！”
“噢。Ok。对不起，我们真的不好意思，澳大利亚！”
“不用不好意思，俄罗斯，这只是一个很大的误会！”
“我们同意，非常高兴我们都有机会澄清！”
“我们爱妳们，俄罗斯。”
“我们也爱妳们，澳大利亚！”
*大家咯咯笑*

Diplomacy would be a disaster, too. Australia'd bomb Russia a bit, Russia'd bomb Australia a bit, finally we'd agree to negotiate:
"Hey ... Australia, are we still friends?"
"What are you talking about? Russia, OF COURSE we're still friends!!!"
"Really? It's just ... well, some countries have been saying you're not happy with me and ... "
"Come on, how could we be mad at you? Haha, don't be silly!"
"Sure. But, why did you bomb us?"
"Huh?! Who said we bombed you? We didn't, we never have and we would never do that!!!"
"Oh, okay. Sorry, we're so embarrassed, Australia!"
"Don't be embarrassed, Russia, this was just a big misunderstanding!"
"We agree, oh we're so glad we had this chance to clear it all up!"
"We love you, Russia."
"We love you too, Australia!"
*Everybody laughs*


两个政府会回国，告诉她们自己的国家：
“那个（别的国家）是个婊子！她们假装不知道谁轰炸了我们！她们肯定知道，大家知道她们是轰炸了我们的！”
澳大利亚对美国，英国这么说。俄罗斯对中国，韩国这么说，等等。
英国可能说，“我们不要在妳们两个国家之间做出选择。为什么我们都不能只再交个朋友？”
澳大利亚会回答，“我们以为妳们是我们的朋友，妳们怎么说这个问题都是我们的错？！”
过了一会儿，澳大利亚和俄罗斯忘了她们的争端，再交个朋友。但是澳大利亚还对英国生气了。我猜当时澳大利亚和美国可能会轰炸英国。”

Both governments would go back to their own countries, and tell their people:
"That (other country) is such a bitch! They're acting like they don't know who bombed us! Well of course they know, everyone knows they're the ones who did it!"
Then Australia as a nation would say the same thing to America and England. Russia would have a similar bitch-fest with China and Korea.
England might say, "I don't wanna have to choose between you girls. Why can't we all just be friends again?"
Then Australia would reply, "I thought we were friends, England. How can you say this is all Australia's fault?!"
After a little while, Australia and Russia would forget all about their dispute and be best friends again. But Australia would still be mad at England. Probably Australia and America would bomb England then."


我的同时不同意。她说，那种女人不存在。俄，没关系。我知道我说的是真的！

My coworker disagreed. She said, that type of woman doesn't exist. Ah well, doesn't matter, I know what I said is true!

Hmmm ... 其实，我的"Followers"都是女人。。。我不知道是否她们觉得这个帖子是可笑的？其实我的主要点不是“女人不如男人”。。。只是“女人不是比男人上级”，哈哈。。。这是“平等”真的意思，对吗？

Hmm ... actually my "followers" are all women ... I don't know if they'll find this post funny or not? For the record, my point isn't "women aren't as good as men" ... it's just "women aren't SUPERIOR to men, haha, we're all equal, right? =P